Do Nothing Goals

Welp, it's January 2012. The final countdown. Can't you just hear the music? But seriously, 2011 was a crazy year. I'm looking over this blog and remembering how it was basically dead. In June of 2011 I came back with new motivation. Twenty-three posts later, it's the beginning of a new year. For those of you who can't math (like me), that's 23 posts in 6 months, which is 3.8333333333333333333333333
333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333...posts per month. Sorry, I can't resist recurring decimals.

So, if a new year is supposed to be about goals and commitments and change, what is the plan for this space? This mass of jumbled thoughts and broken language about video games, a digital life, and (seemingly) doing nothing. I guess the lazy answer is to keep on keepin' on. And I am never opposed to sticking with the lazy answer.

Focusing on audience seems like a good place to start. Go for more views/hits/clicks. Isn't that how the Internet works? If I were trying to make money off of these ramblings, that might be the way to go. But I don't care about money. No, I'm more interested in content. If I have a goal or new year's resolution for blogging, it would be to produce more.

More than four posts per month and at least one "original" comic per month. None of this rage comic crap or movie stills with text. Maybe dry erase board stuff. More creative, original content in the form of words and images. That's the ultimate goal.

I hate writing game reviews, so I'm not going to delve into that well. There is a different process that I follow when it comes to buying new games. It goes something like this:

Funneling - What video games interest me?
Research - What have I read/seen/heard about this video game?
Expectations - What am I going to find/see/do in this video game?
Purchase - Did I buy this video game based on the three areas above?

No - Why not?
Yes - Did the video game fail/meet/exceed my expectations?

If I were to start writing reviews, this would be the format I'd follow. This could also be a sexy infographic.

Speaking of infographics, have you heard of wordle? It's an awesome word cloud generator. I created two word clouds for this blog. Maybe I should do this every six months and see how the image changes.

The last thing I want to mention is Destructoid's community blog and their "Blogger's Wanted" weekly topic. I've written in on four of those topics. Just four. I'm picky. So, the goal here is to be less picky and try my hand at more video game topics. The last one I posted was on Christmas eve. I love the picture that went with it.

The Craig's List Experiment

Earlier this month I conducted an experiment on Craig's List. Here is the posting. It's pretty bizarre, to say the least. Also, I want everyone to know that it was only up for slightly more than twenty-four hours. So, when the above link dies, here is an image capture of the posting:

The buyer who contacted me proposed a third payment option: five dollars worth of his wife's holiday baking. I went with that in a heartbeat. More Christmas cookies and one less Cole MacGrath statue for me. The cookies disappeared quickly; I even shared with my roommate. This is the last one:

Let's talk about art. This cookie is art. It tastes as good as it looks. I would know, I'm eating right now, getting powdered sugar all over my keyboard. Festive.

Demotivational Properties of December

December has felt like a severely-off month. For the first time in my life, I'm bothered by commuting to work in the dark and returning home in the dark. It weighs on me. Makes me feel like doing nothing. Not even video games. I've been on a four day Skyrim break. After work, when I get home, all I want to do is watch T.V. or sleep. Of course, I don't actually watch television; I threw in disc 1 of the Full Metal Alchemist series and hit play all. With eight discs of this anime (I don't have, nor have I seen Brotherhood), I can continue for seven more business days. The weekends don't count, obviously. I find things to do.

During these dark times, I find myself returning to my PSP and Disgaea while bundled up in bed. Flipping between Dark Hero Days and Afternoon of Darkness takes its toll after extended stays in the item world. The Demotivational Properties of December. If this observation were a natural law, classified and categorized by scientists, it would have that title. Perhaps this subtitle: "Winter's Return to Disgaea." I'll draft the abstract as soon as winter is over. In May.

It's a scary thought, but this observation does confirm something I've long suspected. If I could only ever play one video game, that video game would be a Disgaea game. Which game in the series? Well, I'm working on narrowing that part down.

I've heard this diagnosed as seasonal depression, which doesn't seem accurate because:

1. I'm not depressed, just feeling lazy.
2. If this were truly seasonal, shouldn't it happen during other seasons too?
3. Where does the affinity for my favorite SRPG come in? That does not make sense.

Wookies don't live on Endor.

"One theory is that reduced sunlight during fall and winter leads to reduced production of serotonin in the the brain." Thanks, WebMD. Now I'm paranoid. The good news is that this laziness has not crossed into my work life. I'm just as distracted as I always am.

Anyway, here's my prescription: grind in the item world until geo panels make you hurl, return to Skyrim, kill a dragon, feel awesome, and (finally) make fun of the stupid guards.

Five Bucks, Sour Gummy Worms, Or Best Offer

It's time to start thinking about the future. I have too much shit. And I'm not talking about all the crap I have stuffed in a dresser at my house in Whiterun.

When I first moved out of the dorms and into an apartment, I could fit everything I needed into my full-size conversion van. After moving off campus, I lived in an apartment for a year with friends. At the end of the year, we packed up and moved to a new place. I did this for three years in a row. By the forth move, I had found a stable job and an awesome roommate. With so many moves under our belts, we decided to stay in our apartment for a while before packing up and moving again. Well, it's been four years. Now it's time to move again.

And I am not excited.

Eight months and my lease is up. That's plenty of time, right? Maybe. Maybe not. I need to get rid of some crap. I've amassed a strange collection of junk; assuming there's someone else out there who likes the kind of junk I like, maybe I could sell some of it.

I'm not one to toss everything in the dumpster; I'm a huge fan of thrift stores and I'll probably donate at least a couple boxes to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. I'm also going to try and sell some things on Craig’s List, which will be a whole new experience. As an avid browser of Craig's List, I kinda know how it works, but I've never bought (or sold) anything on there.

I already have my first item in mind. A total splurge and fandom impulse buy, I picked up the Hero Edition of inFAMOUS 2 for the game (obviously) and for the rockin' Sly Cooper/Cole MacGrath sling pack; this special edition also included in-game items, a comic book, and a statue of Cole. I absolutely don't care about the statue. Maybe some inFAMOUS fan will really want just the statue? Maybe some crazy inFAMOUS fan will want two statues? I guess a pair of Cole statues could make good bookends. Or PS3 game case-ends?

That's my idea for my first Craig's List sale. Is five bucks overpriced? Maybe I should ask for candy, instead. Sour gummy worms might as well be currency, in my opinion.

Tryptophan Gets Everyone

I'm not going to pretend that I know all the intricacies behind Google's blogger. All I do know it that I like how it works and I really like how it keeps track of web stats. Here's the info graphic for my page-views by operating system for the month of November.

I don't know who you are PSP reader/viewer, but I love you. Seeing this stat made my day. Power to the PSP!

In other news, Lydia didn't survive the Thanksgiving weekend. To this day, I am not sure what evil creature got the best of her. She went missing for a couple of days; when she didn't return to the Breezehome in Whiterun, I began retracing my steps. What started as a hopeful and fun romp through places previously visited soon turned into a desperate search. Sadly, I did eventually find her. Collapsed into a pile of flesh and armor, she lay along a path northwest of Falkreath, Ancient Nord Greatsword still in hand. Unfortunately, there's no crime scene investigation skill or perk. I have no idea what or who delivered the fatal blow.

I did kill a dragon just north of Falkreath while she was "missing." Maybe Lydia helped me defeat that dragon and I never knew it. A true friend and a humble hero, Lydia gave her life so that I might slay a terrible beast and live to brag about it on the Internet. After searching the surrounding area, I found a suitable resting place. The Roadside Ruins, northwest of Falkreath. Lydia's body has long since disappeared, but her spirit warms the ruins and re-invigorates any who rest there.

Fine. So that's not true, but it's still a nice thought. R.I.P. Lydia. You will be missed.

A Follower of Foxes

So, who is playing Skyrim? I guess that's everybody on the Internet. I am playing Skyrim as a sneaky Nord battlemage but I'm slowly turning into a sneaky Nord archer. And I love Lydia. As a token of my love, I gave her an ancient Nord Greatsword, some kick-ass armor, and a horny helmet (just like mine). What does she do in return? This crazy bitch goes out and hacks everybody to pieces while I stay hidden (I'm practically invisible now) and watch from a distance. Fine, occasionally I'll shoot an arrow or something. But Lydia does most of the work.

Back in August I talked about my gaming features and distractions. Well, what I didn't consider was a game big enough to handle both of them. Skyrim is that game. The main quest of the Dovahkiin is the feature. All of the side quests in Skyrim are the distractions. Not to mention my in-game A.D.D. "Look Lydia, a fox! Let's chase it until we happen upon something interesting."

Screencap Credit: spacecatrocketship

Lydia and I chase a lot of foxes.

Regardless of what wikia has to say about them, I haven't found that following foxes directs me to my active quest target. Though I do admit, I usually find a keep or a cave or a cabin or something to check out after trailing a fox. I've never killed one (and I don't plan to) but if the foxes started leading me to cave bears, I might leave them alone.

After equipping a bow and trying to shoot things with arrows, I realized that I did indeed miss VATS from Bethesda's Fallout games. However, because being an archer presented an immense challenge I stopped my beserking battlemage act and went with the bow and arrow, Robin Hood style. I'm still getting used to the bow, but I'm ten times better and that's just with aiming; I've put exactly zero points into the archery skill. My usual tactic, besides sending Lydia in first, is to pick enemies off from a hidden position (sneaky remember, plus the 3X damage from a bow sneak attack, awesome) then move in close range with shock and flame attacks to finish off the jerks who're really good a dodging arrows.

I'm not much of a game reviewer, nor do I pay much attention to game reviews; I play what I like and I try what catches my interest. I can't say that I'm a fan of The Elder Scrolls series and I'm not going to play Morrowind or Oblivion, ever. Skyrim is awesome. Bethesda, if you keep making games like Fallout 3 (New Vegas, to a lesser extent) and Skyrim, I will keep playing them. Well done.

Now it's time to get back to it. Come Lydia. We're off to explore, loot, and horde.

Let's Put Chips In All The Children