Deadpool: Mouthing Off 2

Part 2 of 2

I've done my best to stay away from the review sites across the Internets, but I'm assuming this game is going to be well received by Deadpool fans and lumped into an average rating by most gamers. The Deadpool game fits the summer-popcorn-movie stereotype. It's good but not great; kind of short for the $49.99 release price. I'm also guessing that people who are unfamiliar with Deadpool will be put-off by his antics and confused by his humor. Or just irritated. Probably irritated

Now that I've finished the story campaign, I wish there was more to the story campaign. I feel like I got enough; I played the game for three hours a night, starting on the Tuesday night that it released. I finished the story campaign on Thursday night. Normally, I hop around from game to game while playing. Deadpool had me hooked and satisfied from the minute I started playing. That doesn't happen very often. Now that I know the story and how it ends, I just wish it could continue...or have a new arc start in the same universe.

To wrap this up, in the best way that I can, I have to label the Deadpool game as scatterbrained. If this were a normal game, that label wouldn't be compliment. I think the game would be accused doing or including too many things. For example: most of the Deadpool game is a hack n' slash, beat 'em up....but it's also a third-person shooter/platformer/adventure/stealth game. It contains a side-scrolling level (I would take more of this), a couple shooter-on-rails sections (think turrets), and a retro-style Atari level in the sewers (only for a couple minutes). The point being: it is all over the place.

And that's Deadpool. He's all over the place.

Speaking of all over the place, go to Part 1

Deadpool: Mouthing Off 1

Part 1 of 2

After sinking 3 to 4 hours in it, I think I'm qualified (by Internet standards) to talk about the new Deadpool game that dropped this Tuesday. I walked out of GameStop with a copy of the PS3 version, stopped at Chick-fil-A (sorry, no chimichangas), and plopped down on my couch to get reacquainted with the Merc with a Mouth.

The first little section of the game serves to do just that, teach the player about this masked madman by exploring his apartment. I was laughing the whole time, especially while Deadpool made fun of achievements by giving me the first and second ones for "free," I'm glad Deadpool shares my opinion on trophies and achievements.

Once out of the crazy-filthy apartment, it was sword-swinging, gun-toting, tutorial time. At first thought, I'd call Deadpool a hack n' slash game with a bit of platforming, but that's because I didn't want to use my guns, like ever. I guess I have more fun slicing and dicing enemies; even when the enemies were poised for a duck-and-cover shoot-out, I would run head-first into enemy fire (what's the point of a healing factor if you're not going to use it) and stab, stab, stab.

The non-shooting combat is easy to learn and the enemy AI is pretty dumb. And, oh I forgot about the teleport dodge: it makes the sword combat and countering very over-powered. I had honestly forgotten that Deadpool had that teleport technology. Where's Weasel when I want to thank him? Anyway, it was later into the game when I realized I was in trouble for not using/upgrading my gun arsenal.

The "heavy" baddies are much easier when Deadpool is dual-wielding shotguns. Maybe that's the case for all the baddies. Still, I get bored with third-person shooting faster than I do stringing together bloody-bladed melee combos. The melee gameplay is no Arkham Asylum, but I still enjoyed it. I like my Deadpool with his blades; I also like the sai, but I haven't used them much. The swords are fully upgraded, the sai are newly unlocked, and the hammers, well, I haven't purchased them yet.

Most of the glitches that I've seen have occurred during combat, but nothing has made me want to eat my controller. Occasionally an enemy will end up on top of Deadpool; sometimes my hits connect with the displaced enemy and sometimes they don't. Meh. Deadpool points (DP) don't always revert to the previous amount if you die and then continue from the nearest checkpoint. Last, but not least, enemies can deal lots of damage to each other; I've always thought friendly fire is a stupid concept, so when a "heavy" baddie clears all the normal enemies for me, I wonder if that was intentional.

Even though the game is linear, I'll praise the level design and variety. From Deadpool's apartment to the mucky sewers to the catacombs of Genosha, the scenery is a sight to behold. I'd also like to get my hands on some concept art, especially the final level in Genosha. Floating platforms as far as the eye can see. Again, thank you Weasel for the teleportation.

Speaking of teleportation, BAMF over to Part 2

What About The Rest Of The Year?

Blogging? Am I still doing that? By missing E3 this year, I shot my blogging-self in the foot. Last year and the year before, E3 was a prime time to chime in on the world of gaming. Starting right now, there are only 4 games that I'm really looking forward to for the remainder of 2013. They are, in order of suspected release:

6/25/2013 - Deadpool
9/3/2013 - Diablo III (Console)
9/17/2013 - Grand Theft Auto V
Q4 2013 - South Park: The Stick of Truth

I'll definitely be talking about the Deadpool game, because it looks awesome and hilarious.

The other two games, Diablo and GTA, look to be early fall releases but I'm not really sure about South Park. Who knows? Anybody. I can wait for that one, because I want the South Park game to be done right or not done at all.

Good news though, I'll have plenty of time to play Deadpool before I get bogged down with the other new games. Deadpool is my favorite Marvel Comics character and I've been anticipating this game since I first heard about it. And it's about damn time that it was released. I'll try and get a huge chunk of it played shortly after release so that I can post my thoughts on the game.

There were some tempting pre-order bonuses, but nothing too blingy. So I put my pre-order in at GameStop and got two more challenge maps, two extra costumes, and a wallpaper. Let me see if I can dig that sucker up.

Iron Man 3: Good But Not Great

I went to see Iron Man 3 over the weekend. Twice. With Iron Man 3 opening on May 3rd, Star Wars day on May 4th, and Cinco de Mayo on, well, May 5th, I decided to make a four-day weekend out of it and took vacation days on May 3rd and May 6th. Monday was for, you know, recovering. And who likes Mondays anyway.

My old comic book movie posse reunited for a Friday evening showing of Iron Man 3 and we were not disappointed. Well, I was initially bummed about Ben Kingsley's Mandarin, but then I remembered my previous rant and decided that the twist was worth it. Hell, I was about as surprised as Rhodey was in the movie.

It's pretty rare that movies surprise me anymore. So the surprise sort of endeared me to the movie and the character. Of course, I'm tip-toeing around a spoiler here. And I had no idea it was coming; which is also a rarity given that what I read on the Internet has the potential to spoil just about any surprise. So I have to hand it to the Iron Man 3 secret service, because they kept this twist well under wraps.

So Iron Man 3 was good. I'm not sure how many thumbs or stars or tomatoes I would give it. But it's good. It's not as good as the first Iron Man movie, but it's better than the second one. It won't break into the ranks of my top three Marvel movies. The Avengers, Iron Man, and X2: X-Men United (although, I still hate that title) are all safe in their respective spots.

I also took my nephew to go see it (after I saw it with my friends) and he enjoyed it. With a PG-13 rating, it's probably not a great movie to show a seven-year-old. I'm the crazy uncle. I can get away with stuff like that.

The cause and effect or choice and consequence story-line was brilliant. Tony Stark was/is a little prick and he did things to make many enemies. The things we do can come back to bite us in the ass. Tony is stuck dealing with these things from his past as well as the revelation that occurred to him in The Avengers: he's just a guy in a suit.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe continues to delight: I'm looking forward to what's coming next. Especially the Guardians of the Galaxy.

New New?

This is an odd time in my gaming career and in my adventures as the Do-Nothing-Man. Disinterest has infected my perspective of gaming. I mentioned earlier that I'm consistently playing Diablo 3 on my computer and Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness on my hacked PSP. That's it.

I've taken little breaks to play things like Aliens: Colonial Marines and The Walking Dead. I even sat down to play Halo 4 with my roommate for the first time in several months last weekend. The point is: I haven't been playing much. And, I'm not necessarily happy with what I have been playing.

Even with games like Diablo and Disgaea, the repetitive nature of each game is wearing on me. On both of these titles, it's the grinding and leveling up that initially peaked my interest; however, I find myself only able to stand Disgaea in smaller and smaller segments. Clear a couple levels in the Item World, and then I'm putting my PSP to sleep. Diablo 3 is getting a similar treatment; I measure my playing time in accumulated gold. Once I acquire 100,000 gold in a play session, I'm done. Paragon levels don't even interest me anymore. In both games, I'm chilling in the end-game, doing only the things that I want to do. And I'm still getting a little burnt out.

What I've noticed while playing these two favorites is that I'm in no mood for marathon gaming sessions. A couple years ago, I could sit and play Fallout 3 all freakin' day. That doesn't happen anymore. Part of it could be that I have a standing desk now; when I'm playing Diablo 3, I'm on my feet. Not sitting on my ass. But I've had the standing set-up for over a year and when D3 first came out, I was playing marathon sessions to power level my crazy Witch Doctor.

The PSP is a little different; I'm usually playing Disgaea while sitting on our porch (now things are warming up) or while in bed right before going to sleep. Plus, that little machine is hacked, so I'm constantly tinkering with it while it's connected to my computer. I need to learn how to take my own screenshots. There must be a way.

I thought, for the longest time, that I could be a perfectly content gamer only playing Disgaea and Diablo (at the time I was thinking of Diablo 2), maybe include a Resident Evil 2 play-through every so often. Disgaea and Diablo will always be go-to games for me for me, but maybe it's time for me to branch out and play something that's completely outside of my gaming repertoire.

What a weird word.

Wrong Way On A Dead-Way Track

Last night I received my first legitimate shock while playing Telltale's The Walking Dead adventure game. I finished Episode 3: Long Road Ahead, with many of the original party dead or left behind.

The most shocking was the reporter girl's death. Heh, I've already forgotten her name. Lilly, heart attack dad's bitch daughter, blew her freakin' head off. So I left Lilly in the ditch and drove away. That will probably come back to bite me in the ass.

If they don't die on-screen, they don't die.

Anyway, I'm happy to be rid of heart attack dad and his bitch daughter; I have been wanting to get rid of them since episode one.

Also, we met a wise, old homeless man named Chuck. He kind of reminds me of Gandalf because he was wise enough to tell me that I should have a plan and that I should teach Clem how to shoot a gun.

This seems like very wise council, except I'm not sure I even know how to shoot a gun. In fact, I hate guns in this game. Two times in episode three I had difficulty with, you know, dying. And both involved guns. I'd prefer a blunt melee weapon over a firearm any day in the world of The Walking Dead. But, for some reason, the game insists on making me use guns.

I also encountered my first serious glitch in the game: the action options and target reticle didn't load in one area. When I entered the area, I could walk around, but I couldn't interact with anything. I couldn't talk to the people there and I couldn't open the door at the other end of the area. Luckily, I could go back the way I came and re-enter. After a couple minutes trying other options, I had power down and restart the game. Luckily, this didn't happen during an action sequence; it was one of those, you-need-to-talk-to-everyone-to-progress sequences.

Shocking, but boring and glitchy...not a good outing for The Walking Dead Episode 3. In my honest opinion, I think the series has gone downhill since episode one. We'll see how four and five work out.

Heart Attack Dad Is Dead

In the refrigerator room with the salt lick. I always called them salt "blocks" when I was a kid, but whatever. It was a brief, gleeful moment in what I thought was an all-too-familiar outing in Telltale's The Walking Dead Episode 2, subtitled, we're hungry, but not that hungry.

The button-time or quick-time events weren't as annoying as they seemed in the first episode, maybe because I knew when to expect them; I still died a couple times, mostly because I don't have the A, B, X, and Y buttons memorized on the Xbox. And if they were to mix up the colors and the letters, holy cow, I would be screwed.

I really didn't want the dairy "farmers" to be cannibals, so much in fact that I engaged in all the dialog trees multiple times to see if I could get a different answer. And once I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we would be eating Mark (the convenient new addition at the beginning of the episode), I did everything in my power to make it happen. I even tried not to find him in the secret, hidden room on the second floor of the farm house.

Yes, even the little fruit girl, Cantaloupe, no wait Clementine, ate some of Mark.

After that, I went on a killing spree. And I chose to kill heart attack Dad while his daughter Lilly was trying to (incorrectly) resuscitate, him. Well, technically, Kenny did it, but I helped by saying it was a good idea.

Unfortunately, I couldn't kill Lilly during this episode, even though she just stood there as the last "farmer" was kicking the crap out of me. Eventually I got away from him and the farm's electric fence. At that point, I wanted to make him take a bite out of the electric fence for feeding all of us (except me) roast human. But I settled with a headshot.

Episode 2: "Starved for Help" was definitely predictable and a little bland. I don't think the story was as well-crafted as the first episode, but the second episode was not bad, by any means. It's like a good B movie; glad I watched it, but happy I didn't pay for it.

Getting through the last three episodes before April may be a challenge, but I think I'll go for that goal. Happy zombie hunting!

Walk The Dead

So I took a break from Diablo 3 and Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness (the two games that I've been consistently playing as of late) to finally sit down and play Telltale's The Walking Dead. A friend let me borrow his copy of all five episodes on disc for the Xbox. I played the first episode from beginning to end when I should've been watching the newest episode of The Walking Dead on AMC.

The game has received pretty positive reviews, and after playing the first episode, I understand why. But I still didn't really like the first episode of this game series. The story-telling was good, but I didn't like that it relied on "celebrities" from the comic. When I ended up on Hershel's farm in the very beginning, I was confused. It didn't look anything like it did in the comics or on the TV show. As soon as I realized where I was, I wanted to leave and meet new characters in this world.

Luckily, my wish was granted with Kenny and his family. I have a clear allegiance to Kenny and keeping that allegiance will guide most of my decisions throughout the game. I'm going to skip around here, to keep from spoiling the game.

Once I was inside the pharmacy, my problems with the game reared their ugly heads. I was charged with breaking into the pharmacy to get pills for heart-attack Dad and that became my ultimate goal. Frustration set in as the keys were nowhere to be found in the office. What I did find was a family picture of Lee with his parents and brother. He immediately ripped himself out of the photo and stashed it in the edge-of-the-screen inventory. For me, that was a very meaningful moment in how I understood Lee's story.

It was a weird thing to do, rip oneself out of a family photo but still keep the family photo. I was perplexed, in awe, and hooked. I left the office and the little girl's radio went off with Glenn, who went to fetch gasoline, calling for help. I brought the gun-girl with me to save Glenn and we saved his Korean ass. Upon returning with my axe, I tried to chop my way into the pharmacy and Lee, in so many words, basically said, "No dip-shit, you need the key."

So I was back where I left off and I talked to everyone again. Last being Doug, the guy guarding the door to the outside. And that's when I noticed the trapped zombie. The action button instructed me to show Doug my family photo, which convinced him that the trapped zombie had the pharmacy key. What just happened? Then it clicked: I had done things out of order. When I first talked to door-guard Doug, I was to see the trapped zombie (which I didn't) and try to convince Doug that the zombie worked at the pharmacy. He would have said something like, no it's too risky, I need proof. Then I would have gone back to the pharmacy office, picked up the photo, ripped myself out to hide my identity, and then showed the photo to Doug.

The moment I had with Lee, removing himself from the family photo, was ripped away. I had done things out of order. And from that moment on, I was pissed. So pissed, that I let Doug die in one of my decision button-time events.

As a general rule, I hate button-time events. They suck. I hated them in Resident Evil 4, especially after that knife fight, and I've hated them ever since.

The Walking Dead can basically be construed as an awesome story with a long string of button-time events. Awesome story-telling = good. Long string of button-time events = bad.

The episode ended with heart-attack Dad telling me to stay away from his daughter. My only thoughts were: I must have missed something because I think you're an asshole and I think your daughter is a bitch. As soon as I get the chance to let either or both of you die, I will do just that.

In some ways, I guess the first episode of The Walking Dead game succeeded because I am invested in these characters, whether its helping keep them safe, or having a hand in their gruesome deaths, I am invested.

As the episode ended, I was satisfied to see Glenn off in his pizza-delivery car. Get outta here kid; get yourself to the Georgia big time and be awesome (yeah, I like Glenn).

Colonial Marines: It's An Aliens Thing

To my surprise, Amazon delivered my copy of the Aliens: Colonial Marines on Saturday. Only four days behind the February 12th release. The collector's edition looked good. Damn good. The game? Well, that's another story.

After playing the game for just one hour, I had seen and killed more xenomorphs than were featured in the entire Aliens movie. That's a lot of dead aliens in just one hour. Too many, in my opinion. Then I had to start killing Weyland-Yutani goons and that just pissed me off. I really don't like the FPS that features completely incompetent human enemies and allies. To just shine the spotlight on my first two computer-controlled squad members: Shaquille O'Neal and Bella were idiotic, invincible, and made of ammunition. At first I thought it was funny to watch them shoot the walls and boxes that enemy soldiers were using as cover. It was hilarious, and then it just became sad. They were just tracking enemies and firing blindly (and they hardly ever killed anything).

I just want to put Shaq and Bella in an empty hallway with two enemy goons, weld the doors shut at both ends of the hallway, and watch all four of them pretend to be stormtroopers. Again, at first it would be hilarious, and then it would be embarrassing. But the really sad part would unfold when I dropped two aliens in the hallway from ceiling vents. Deadly xenomorphs my ass. There were points when Shaq, Bella, and I were waiting behind a closed door listening to the mad-scientist mercenaries fighting with the aliens. And I was thinking: alright, we'll just let them duke it out and we'll clean up whatever's left. That's a terrible strategy because apparently computer-controlled mercenaries and computer-controlled aliens just play patty-cake with claws and bullets.

Just kill them all yourself. It's the only way to be sure.

A couple things did impress me. I was worried when I used all of my pulse rifle's secondary fire grenades. A sliver of survival-horror right there. I did find Hudson's chestbuster-ruined body and his special pulse rifle; however, the legendary weapon did not make my character scream obscenities whenever he fired at aliens (I was mildly disappointed).

The best part was being chased by a larger alien (one that I believe birthed from Hudson) that the Internet is calling the Raven. Maybe there's a connection between the loud-mouthed bird from Edgar Allen Poe's famous poem and Hudson being the voice of ominous despair. I like it, let’s go with that.

Hudson's raven xenomorph chased me into my absolute favorite part of the game: the sewers aka home of the boiler aliens. The sewer was creepy by itself; to add to the tension, I was completely unarmed. Up to my knees in sewage, I found myself surrounded by alien carcasses. The character calls them husks; but they reminded me of the white, dying E.T. White and crusty as a sign of decay works. It was unnerving to see the first supposedly-dead alien body get up and walk around. Over the radio, Shaq tells me their "vision is based on movement" and that I have to stand still for them to leave me alone. Thanks Alan Grant, I haven't heard that one before.

Further through the level, I had to activate little machines that the boilers would sprint to and immediately explode all over. I was kinda disappointed by the whole kamikaze act. The boiler creepiness dropped severely after I realized they were so easy to trick.

I haven't gotten much further in the game; that's about three hours of gameplay (and I'm going slow).

My last little bone to pick: alien acid blood doesn't work at all like it should. I thought, as soon as I encountered my first alien, that I should keep the critters at a distance and avoid the bodies at all costs. Now, obviously, the game can't render every single dead alien melting through the floor where they die. But the wrong way to go is to give me a melee attack that stuns the alien so I can blow them apart while they stand there surprised, shocked, or frustrated from getting bonked on the head.

At least have the alien body do damage to the player who walks right over it. I don't want to see a space marine tea-bagging a dead xenomorph body in multiplayer. That's just wrong.

It's melt-your-dick-off wrong.

Cartridges: Our Link to the Past

While currently trying to ignore whatever pops up about Aliens: Colonial Marines, I need something to write about. Luckily, something interesting happened this week that hasn't happened for a long time: a friend and I swapped game cartridges.

Yeah, like totally old-school. I brought my copy of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance for the the GBA to the office and he brought his copy of The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for the GBA (the one with the Four Swords multiplayer thing). We traded, identified save files that we didn't want overwritten, and agreed to return them as soon as we had finished. School yard ethics dictate that I name my save file PENIS or something, but still, how long has it been that you and a friend exchanged games? And cartridge games at that?

This single act has made me look over my collection of emulators and roms and think: "Wow. This is the future."

I remember when that cartridge was a key, unlocking a little portable world. I used to guard them with my life, especially if it was a borrowed cartridge, because that meant it was a game that my parents didn't want me to play. I had Tetris and a chess game for the Game Boy (not high on the school yard trade list), so I relied on the good graces of my elementary classmates to take one of my crappy games hostage so I could play their infinitely better TMNT or Mario game.

Now, these games are just zip files on my hard drive. Games that I would have begged to borrow are purely dismissal. I'm having fun playing A Link to the Past on my GameCube GBA player, but I've had that rom on my computer for years, and I've never touched it.

I guess that's the magic of cartridges and nostalgia. Back then, the first thing I did when I borrowed a game was pop it into the old Game Boy and give it a spin.

Blogging: How To Proceed

There's plenty of new shit to do now that 2013 is here and kicking. The first on my list is evaluating Google and its blogger service. I'm going to do some experiments here and the first has to do with images.

It seems that the images in each of my posts are actually getting hits and not the post itself. For a while, I was perfectly fine with this: the images get uploaded to a Picasa web folder and linked in the blog. This maintains the image name and that's what gets the hit in Google's image search. Crazy pictures seem like a cool way to attract readers to my blog.

But.

I don't think anything is actually getting read. So I'm uploading images to my imgur (account, gallery, thing) and linking to them in each blog post. This way, the images themselves will not pull hits to the blog; the images will pull hits to imgur. This will show if I'm getting hits based only on the post content and keywords or labels.

The Google AdSense service has denied my request for an account twice now. A sneaking suspicion tells me that I did something wrong when I tried to create my account. It's Google numbers all over again. Another likely explanation is that most of the images that I've used (up to this point) have been blatant copy-right violations. I own very few of the images found in my blog.

My crazy chronicle seems like the perfect spot to place some gaming-related ads. Maybe I'm just wrong about that.

October, November, and December of 2012 and January of 2013 have all drawn over 150 hits per month. By Internet standards, that's not that good. But by my standards, it'll do just fine. I'm curious to see how the hits dip.

Xeno-swag: Anticipating Aliens

Certain franchises just stick with me. Perhaps the one that I chatter on about the most is Resident Evil. The RE universe has stuck with me because it used to frighten me; the games don't do that anymore, but I still play. Before Resident Evil came along, Aliens satisfied that fun and frightful itch. Yes, I was way too young to be watching rated-R movies, but I did anyway. And man, I loved the Alien franchise back then.

Actually, I still love the Alien universe. Whether it's Ridley Scott's Alien or Joss Whedon's Alien: Resurrection (he wrote the screenplay) or the retarded little brothers Alien vs. Predator and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, I have thoroughly enjoyed all the films. I can't say that I've spent too much time with the games: I completely missed out on the early Nintendo and Sega cartridge games and the AVP PC games were quick romps (if that) because I wasn't interested in their stories.

February marks the return to the Alien universe with Aliens: Colonial Marines, a first-person-shooter and spiritual sequel to James Cameron's Aliens; it's the one of the few video games without all the muddled predator pollution. I am one to ignore the FPS genre, but I will make an exception for Aliens: Colonial Marines because I really want to know what happened after the terraforming reactor and colony on LV-426 were supposedly destroyed.

Picking between the Xbox and the PS3 will be a tough choice, but the pre-order deals look pretty amazing. I'm a total sucker for gamer swag (especially games/franchises that I love) and ACM has a $99.99 treasure trove. The Aliens: Colonial Marines Collector's Edition comes with a statue of a power-loader fending off an alien. Patches and in-game items and characters, including Sgt. Apone and Pvt. Hudson. Man, I hope that includes their voices.

After hunting around online, I had to go with Amazon's pre-order because both Best Buy and Gamestop's pre-order allocations were all used up. Dry. This might be the hardest collector's edition to get your hands on right now. Here's to hoping that the aliens thrill and terrify just as they did when I first saw Alien.

For once, I am looking forward to February.

Enough of This Craziness

Last year's new year post went up on the fifth of January. The fifth. Can you believe that? That's crazy. Well, I'm here to tell you that craziness like that will not be tolerated on the DoNothingMan's blog.

There were 41 posts in the year 2012; that's almost three-and-a-half posts per month. Also a little bit on the crazy side. Let's pull those reins back just a tad and not get ahead of ourselves. On the bright side, I haven't changed my NASA wall calendar. It's still open to December 2012 with a picture from the Hubble telescope and a blurb about dark matter.

So what is on the horizon for the year 2013, the luckiest year of them all? I don't know. Grand Theft Auto 5 is set to come out this spring. Aliens: Colonial Marines has me really excited, but I'll probably be disappointed. There's another Iron Man movie in the works. Three. I'm successfully hacking PSP handhelds now. Fried chicken beam attack.

Yep, this is going to be a good year.

New Content Coming...