Shopping: Yoda's Christmas Miracle

I love Amazon. Totally free advertising right there. You are welcome Amazon (though it probably makes little difference to you).

Online shopping is the only reason that I have gifts to give around Christmas time. I hate shopping. I really do. All kinds. Even grocery shopping pisses me off.

It started with just a couple things from online venues and the rest from brick and mortar stores. Not anymore. No brick and mortar. Ever again. Yep, that's right. I basically do all of my Christmas shopping online.

With only a couple of days before Thanksgiving, I still have gifts to order. My nephews get nerf guns and Legos; they're the most fun, which is where Yoda enters this story.

Christmas shouldn't be about winning or losing, but I won Christmas last year with my sister and her two boys. I gave them a Lego Advent calendar. Every day of Advent they opened that day on the calendar and they found a new thing to build. Usually a ship or Lego man. Lego Yoda was the last one on Christmas Eve, I think.

Apparently, it was so much fun that the boys have requested another one. I think I can make that happen, but this year's calendar comes with a Christmas Darth Maul. I don't think he's as festive as Yoda. Christmas Yoda could kick Christmas Darth Maul's ass any day of the week.

Marvel Movies: No Angry Comic Nerd Here

Recently, a friend asked me this amazing question: "When it comes to Marvel comics converted to movies, are you usually satisfied with it, unhappy with it, or both?"

Sit back and let me show you a whole new world (and why I'm totally fine with Marvel movies not being true to their comic book counter parts).

The Short version: Marvel's characters are always being re-created and re-imagined; their stories are constantly being retold.

The Long version:

Every single character and story created within Marvel Comics exists in the Marvel Universe (think Multiverse).

The Marvel Universe consists of parallel dimensions (I'm using 'dimensions' in place of universes because it makes more sense to me). In each dimension there is a Spider-Man, an Ironman, a Deadpool, and a DoNothingMan. Each dimension has it's own little twists. This allows for the Marvel writers and artists to infinitely create (or kill) and re-imagine characters.

You want a black Spider-Man? Then you want Miles Morales of Earth-1610 (Ultimate Marvel) a dimension where Peter Parker was killed. But don't worry, Peter Parker is still alive and well in Earth-616 (and many others).

A beautiful example of these dimensions is Deadpool Corps.

The Earth-616 Deadpool travels across the parallel dimensions to recruit a team of alternate versions of himself. He selects Lady Deadpool (Earth-3010), Kidpool (Earth-10330), Dogpool (Earth-103173), and Headpool (Earth-2149). After the team is put together, hilarity ensues.

At the bottom of the list are the movies.

Earth-199999 appears to contain Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, and The Avengers. Notice that The Hulk (movie) is not listed. That movie was so bad that Marvel kicked it out of the entire Marvel Universe. LOLz. Also notice the Guardians of the Galaxy in the announced section. This is the craziest team of super heroes ever. Even crazier than the Deadpool Corps.

So basically, Marvel created a storytelling ecosystem with infinite possibilities. It's how writers/directors/artists twist the characters and place them in new and different situations that makes the changes so interesting.

October In Full Force

It's been four weeks since Resident Evil 6 dropped and I still don't think I've played enough of it to adequately "review" it. Then again, I haven't played it that much. I blame the game itself. But I can also blame another game: Dead Space. Yes, the original Dead Space. This red-cased, greatest hits game is scarier than most of Resident Evil 4, all of Resident Evil 5, and what I've played of Resident Evil 6 combined.

Sneaking through the Ishimura a couple weekends ago was satisfying and creepy; to add extra tension, I'm going for the plasma cutter challenge and only using that weapon. At first I thought it was hard to shoot for the limbs and appendages (I'm a seasoned zombie killer, aiming for skulls) but I slowly got the hang of it. I'm also a fan of the Kinesis module; sharp objects and explosive canisters are launched at anything that moves. The most fun I've had in-game has involved creative killing with gas tanks and shrapnel.

Unfortunately, the Kinesis module isn't that original. I've encountered the mechanic before in Half-Life 2 and Doom 3: Resurrection of Evil, but it's still fun to use. It's definitely a good thing that weapons like the gravity gun don't exist in real life, because I would cause all kinds of trouble armed with one.

Out in the real world, everything around the DoNothingMan is falling apart. I still can't get my twitter feed to display in the blog margins (this just suddenly started happening and I don't know to fix it) and last Thursday my van decided to stop running. Hopefully I can bring it back to life.

It's Turtle Time, Again

As a childhood fan of the late '80s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon (and later the comics), I always pay attention to the goings on of the Turtles.

A couple weekends ago a new cartoon dropped on Nickelodeon. Being a little jaded because of the re-makes that seem to be popping up everywhere, I wasn't excited about the 2012 Nickelodeon Turtles. The 2003 re-make did get me excited about watching Saturday morning cartoons again, even though I was still in high school. That excitement quickly faded after the first season and I completely stopped watching sometime in the second season. But being a college student also had something to do with that.

Anyway, I realized while watching the 2003 Turtles that I like my heroes-in-a-half-shell goofy. At least while they're on TV. The one good thing that came out of the 2003 series was Turtles Forever. A crazy mash-up of all the TMNT universes, Turtles Forever brought the 1987 crew and 2003 crew together with the comic book crew. Twelve turtles. Count 'em. Twelve. The coolest part was seeing all the different art styles mesh together. But the 1987 Turtle Van is the best Turtle Van so far. I will argue that point to the death.

I haven't seen a Turtle Van in the 2012 series yet, but they have alluded to it. "That means we have a van!" says Michelangelo while he and his brothers are staking out a rooftop. And I laughed. I laughed a lot, actually. The two-part, first episode was funny. The same goes for the third episode, "Turtle Temper" that aired this past weekend. I don't think we're going to get Bebop and Rocksteady, but so far, the 2012 series is goofy. I actually watched the first, two-part episode with a good buddy and fellow Turtles fan on Saturday. We both had our gripes. But we both enjoyed the show.

Donatello is still my favorite of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; he is one of the reasons that I was (and still am) so interested in technology. I'm glad he's remaining nerdy and goofy in this newest installment. For now, I'll keep watching.

Nothing Is Sacred

Let's just say, I wouldn't be surprised if Capcom decided to remake Resident Evil 2.

After running into this post on Destructoid, I decided that it makes financial sense. After the rage subsided, I came to that conclusion. RE2 is my favorite Resident Evil game; it's quite possibly my favorite video game ever. I don't venture over to Gamespot very often, but the article about Capcom appealing for fan support is pretty lacking. The comments, however, are awesome. It's a healthy mix of action-RE enthusiasts and the classic-RE lovers (that's me). I don't have much to say about this; I could go into another Resident Evil rant, but I think I've said all there is to say. When I find something else to add, you can bet that I'll post it here.

In other news, the Columbus Comic Con is this weekend in the gloomy autumn buckeye state. For right now, I'm planning on attending and taking some sweet pictures.

I've never actually been to a comic convention before. The experience is the big draw for me; I'm not going to see a particular artist or celebrity. However, I would wait in line to see a couple guests. The Boondock Saints will be there, which is cool. If I could get all three of those guys to sign my Saints DVD that would be awesome. But honestly, I'd be happy just shaking their hands and telling them that I'm a fan.

The other person I'm semi-interested in meeting is Arthur Suydam; he's a cover artist. I know of him from Marvel Zombies and Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth. His Deadpool movie parody covers are my favorite.

Unfortunately, Ohio doesn’t get the big spectacle that the San Diego Comic Con gets. Ohio disappoints me. But it is Ohio. My expectations are not lofty.

Resident Evil 6 Demo: The Rule of Thirds

After a boring, 8-hour work day, I came home yesterday knowing that the Resident Evil 6 demo was going live. I hopped onto the PlayStation and I found nothing. No Resident Evil 6 Demo to download. WTF, I thought to myself. Eh, it's probably just Sony being Sony and effing something up. I'll play Skyrim instead (yeah, I haven't killed a dragon in months).

So I killed a dragon outside of Riften. Then I looked at my to-do list of quests and thought they all seemed mundane. Pausing, I checked the Internet for any news about Sony not having the RE6 demo (couldn't find any) and I switched to a Skyrim wiki and landed on a page about the Ghostblade. That's what I need, the Ghostblade. So I played until I obtained the Ghostblade.

An hour or two later, with the Ghostblade in my hot little hands, I checked PSN again and the RE6 demo was there. Spooky. So I downloaded it and played it. Here are my thoughts:

Finally, I can set aside all my speculation and muckraking - I have played a demo for Resident Evil 6 and it wasn't that bad. I'll get into more detail below, but I generally enjoyed the appetizer experience contained within the demo. As a preview for all three main campaigns, the demo lets you play as Chris, Leon, and Jake (their partners we're also selectable, but I only played the main characters). Each campaign is different and each character plays differently (we already knew that) but there is wide gulf that separates them, wider then I suspected.

Twenty Minutes of Chris

Band of Bros

No, I'm not abbreviating "brothers" here or alluding to the epic series. This is the BRO GAMER campaign. "Is he always this awesome?" says the rookie BSA moron as Chris Redfield walks away. Yes rookie...Chris is so awesome that he's probably the only one who will survive this mission. This means you’re going to die a horrible death at the hands of zombie hulk.

The running and gunning in Chris's twenty minutes felt exactly like RE5, but slightly faster. Switching weapons has the same intuitive directional pad controls as RE5. Healing was less intuitive until I realized herbs were picked up and compressed into Tic-Tac form. You have to go into your inventory to combine herbs and load them into your Tic-Tac container. The pop-a-health-Tic-Tac button is R2 and you can pig out like fat kid with Pez dispenser (as long as your container is loaded).

I used Chris's pistol more than his automatic weapon; the machine gun hopped around as you fired (I guess that's realism for you). Anyway, I was able to pick off a rocket launcher goon all the way across the map with the pistol as I was killing time while the BSA rookie was planting charges or something. Timed survival seemed to be a common theme. Twenty minutes of Chris's foray into the world of Call of Duty wasn't bad. But I don't know if I can survive the brotastic bullshit for an entire campaign; I played Chris's first because I knew it would be the hardest for me to stomach. And I was right.

Twenty Minutes of Jake

Zombie Tyranitars

Of the three characters, I am the most curious about Jake Muller, the supposed son of Albert Wesker. The demo didn't give away much of Jake's story; he is paired with Sherry Birkin and that can't be for no reason at all.

Jake's gameplay featured the most variety and the most surprising enemies. He comes fully loaded with a pistol, hand-cannon (think elephant gun, stranger), machine gun, sniper rifle, and hand-to-hand. Yes, you have to equip hand-to-hand. Jake's twenty minutes trained me in the ways of melee and close combat of RE6 and that's only because it was the best way to deal with the zombie lizards.

More like zombie tyranitars. Almost every infected enemy crusted over after you defeated them. Some of the crusties then broke apart revealing this new enemy. Sure, I could've wasted all my ammo on the zombie tyranitars, but it was most effective to engage the beasts in hand-to-hand and beat the brains out of them. More satisfying too.

Jake's run felt more familiar then Chris's; it actually felt the most like RE4 when you get onto the island. And I'm okay with that. I can only hope that Jake's story is well hashed out in the full game. After all, he has his father's shoes to fill.

Twenty Minutes of Leon

My Knife and the Ghostblade

I almost played as Leon S. Kennedy first, but I'm glad I didn't; I saved the best for last. Leon's twenty minutes felt like classic Resident Evil crossed with RE4.

I remember when books were used to hide things like keys, emblems, and clues.

The opening cut-scene drew from the first zombie encounter in the mansion back in 1997. Only I didn't actually get to shoot the zombie...cut-scene Leon shot the zombie and he looked cool doing it too. You then assume control of Leon on a college campus with a new flesh-bag partner (who isn't completely worthless) and joining the team again, codec-style is Hunnigan. Yesh!

Leon comes equipped with a pistol and his combat knife. I switched to the combat knife right away because the pistol only had forty bullets. Better conserve ammo, I thought. It was a good feeling, one I've not felt since Code Veronica. The zombies are zombies, occasionally they'll be carrying something that you can snatch away and use against them only once. I used the knife and the melee attacks for Leon's entire twenty minutes. Awesome. But I did notice the new stamina bar, which I drained quickly going all up-close-and-personal with the undead. My partner did help me get out of some tight spots and I had to use grapple quick-time events to get the touchy-feely zombies off me.

Resident Evil 6 now includes decorative urinal cakes.

The demo ended with an awkward quick-time event in a police car looking for the keys as zombies attacked and climbed all over the cruiser. Annoying, but it was tense. Leon's run was definitely my favorite; I might even play it again. I might even use his partner...I forget her name already and I don't feel like googling it.

Two Thirds Satisfied

One Third Worried

That seems to be a good summary of my experiences with the Resident Evil 6 demo. Overall, I was happy with it. Chris's campaign bothers me and it will probably still bother me when I play it in full. However, if I hadn't already pre-ordered Resident Evil 6, this demo would've sealed the deal. I am looking forward to playing the full game on October 2.

I Am Weak: Forgive My Flip-Flopping

It happens every fall; the do-nothing feeling sweeps over me and all I want to do is watch the gray sky rain and play video games.

My autumn line-up is pretty much in stone: Resident Evil 6, Doom 3 BFG Edition, and Halo 4.

Yes, I know I caved to Capcom on the whole RE6 thing, but I'm choosing to remain an annoyed yet optimistic fan of the series. With a replay of Resident Evil 4 nudging out Diablo 3 for my prime-time gaming slot, I'm reminded of how "fun" the over-the-shoulder-action-horror Resident Evil can be. Sure, I still miss the fixed camera and the atmosphere of the early games, but I am enjoying RE4. Again.

It also helps that one of my good friends is picking up RE6 and we're planning on co-opping through it. I know I'm definitely excited about playing RE6 with another long-time Resident Evil fan. This guy and I played through RE2, RE3, and Code Veronica together, passing the controller back and forth. That's how we had to co-op back in the '90s.

The Mercenaries Mode is another factor in RE6's favor. Ever since Resident Evil 3, I have enjoyed the Mercenaries minigame though it has changed considerably since then. I wish I could customize the load-out for each of the mercenaries, but that's never been an option, ever. So I'll just stay in my corner and whine about it.

Plus, the new RE6 demo actually drops today. Look at me, being all timely and current. If I'm not engrossed in RE4, I'll be downloading that tonight; might even write about it later.

Doom 3 and Halo 4 are going to be big-budget diversions; I've already played and beaten Doom 3 on the Xbox (it'll be fun to revisit in the dark and in HD) and Halo 4 is just for the online multiplayer (maybe I'll actually complete a Halo single player campaign, probably not).